A weird girl and her pup.

In second grade I was a really, really weird kid. Of course I was oblivious to it then, but looking back, it's impressive the amount of self esteem I carried considering. Let me paint you a picture: Seven-year-old Kellianne used to lay with my back on the floor of my bedroom and document my current crush's name on the plywood underside of my upholstered desk chair. Being upside down was fascinating to me, apparently, as I remember routinely coming home after school, grabbing a snack, and making my way over to the carpeted steps that led from the kitchen to upstairs. I would enjoy my snack while laying on my back, upside down on the stairs, imagining what it would be like to live in my house if the ceiling was the floor so people would have to step through doorways and be careful not to trip over lights. At Costco, I would find the aisle with animal fur rugs and lie on one on the bottom shelf until my parents were finished shopping. I was inspired by the movie Harriet the Spy and was so determined to think that tomato & mayonnaise sandwiches were delicious (I was sure to always be vocal about how "delicious" it was with a fake smile plastered on my face). Speaking of my face, second grade was also the year I developed a very severe case of the chicken pox (at the same time I lost ONE of my front teeth.. it was an unfortunate sight) which left me with a small scar between my nose and eyebrow. To make for an even more unfortunate sight I had a bowl-cut.. yep, a shaved at the neck, above my ears, bowl-cut with bangs. This is what (the best version of) it looked like:

I was obsessed with yo-yo's, Lisa Frank, and Oregon Trail. But more than anything else, second grade brought with it my obsession with getting a dog. 

I would wake up every morning and grab the sports section of the newspaper, flip to the very last pages, and start perusing the classifieds for puppy ads. Any description with the words "Chow" (my breed of choice.. ew) or "Free to a good home" were insta winners and were immediately cut out and taped onto a piece of notebook paper for safe keeping and consideration at a later date when my parents would hopefully, finally, agree with me that our family needed a dog. This went on for two entire years. My parents, the sweet souls they are, thought they could satisfy my desire for a dog by offering an array of other, smaller pet options. Silly them. Over the course of second through fourth grade our family went through a variety of pets including lizards, goldfish, hamsters, and a hedgehog. Due to unfortunate events and my amateur skills as a pet owner, none of these pets lived very long... Which left us, once again, with a missing piece to our family.

December 24th 1997.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, and everyone had gone to sleep for the night. Everyone except my nine-year-old self who was WAY too jittery with anticipation of the next morning. I knew Santa had visited because I heard him rustling around the living room earlier. So there I lie awake staring at the ceiling imagining what the living room and tree must look like lit up  and filled with colorful presents! I wasn't counting on Santa to deliver me a puppy because the year before he had pulled quite the stunt. (I had listed a puppy as the only item on my list, and awoke Christmas morning to a huge STUFFED ANIMAL puppy. *cue major disappointment*) This year I had been sure to specifically write "a REAL, ALIVE puppy", but had since convinced myself that Santa didn't do live deliveries. Anyways, as I was lying in bed, my ears perked up. I heard a strange sound downstairs (at the time I remember thinking it sounded like a donkey... yep... ) and my curiosity got the best of me. I tiptoed down the stairs to survey the scene and take a peek into the living room. JUST as I was about to round the corner, BUSTED. My dad came around the same corner and looked me square in the face. Uh oh. Before any words were spoken I quickly pivoted, and raced up the stairs probably crying and uttering some excuse for why I was sneaking around to peek at presents.(I'm going to go ahead and guess my dad wasn't buying my story...)

December 25, 1997.

THE.BEST.DAY.OF.MY.LIFE.THUS.FAR.

You guessed it. 

Santa finally agreed with me and, despite my parents' objections, brought my family the tiniest, sweetest, most lovable Beagle puppy in the world. I don't know a happier moment in my childhood than snuggling with her on Christmas morning on our big couch pillows and watching her run around. After her first walk to the end of the block that afternoon, we agreed that Holly was the most fitting name, considering she was our Christmas miracle dog. This is a picture of Holly in her first dog bed shortly after Christmas with my 

youngest brother Michael. 

Since Christmas 1997, Holly has been an integral part of our family. Her favorite activities include eating cheddar cheese, sniffing scent trails on walks, watching/following anyone who is at the refrigerator.. or in the kitchen for that matter, sitting by the back door and spying on squirrels through the glass, transforming her dog treats into play toys, sneaking around every room of the house when she's home alone (I've caught her deer-in-the-headlights multiple times!), avoiding the pool like the plague, racing along the fence line that runs along High Drive and being sure to "protect" us all from every single dog being walked, and above all else.. nap. She wins a dog lifetime achievement award for napping more percentage of her life than any other dog, ever.

Holly has been the most perfect dog for our family; complementing our loud and busy lifestyle by being mellow and loving. While we eat together as a family, she sits/lays a few feet away and watches our conversation flow, while also keeping an eye on the floor for scraps of food. She is so helpful with the dishes by licking the plates clean an extra time before the door closes to run a cycle. She doesn't mind not being walked often because she has an entire world of a yard next door that she has taken to exploring every nook and plant of over the last 15 years. She waits eagerly for her stocking every Christmas morning and embarrasses easily when we dress her up for halloween. Holly has loved and welcomed every friend or acquaintance, family member or member of our church, whether young or old, with a jump to say hello and she is even sure to sniff them all out just to make sure no one is dangerous ;) Over the last few years she has loved dragging her dog bed into the most central area of the house (right by the heating vent so she can enjoy warm air) to keep an eye on everyone coming and going at all points of the day. 

No matter if I was throwing a temper tantrum, laying upside down on the stairs, had a face full of acne, braces AND glasses, was gone for almost entire days on end for school and sports, left for the summer to work at camp, or moved out for college and didn't see her months at a time, Holly has always been the most faithful and loving dog. When she would spy me walking into my house through the garage door, she always trotted right over to welcome me home. Her young puppy days of jumping with excitement have evolved into mellow (ie. lazy) greetings or acknowledgment  but I know she is just as loving and happy to see me as the day we first welcomed her into our family on Christmas of fourth grade.

Today, with a very heavy heart and after 15 years of experiencing our family and friends grow up, loving us, being the recipient of our unending love for her, and providing us SO many funny memories, my family is putting Holly to rest. She has developed a heart problem that she's been fighting for a few years and this winter's cold would be too painful for her, to the point where she won't be able to do the things she enjoys most-- running around outside and exploring what the world has to offer her little doggy self. I never imagined what this day would feel like, but I sure as heck wasn't thinking it would feel this difficult. I wish more than anything that I could be at home and see her one last time, but alas, I am in Colorado, exploring the world like Holly loves to do. Thankfully I was able to FaceTime my pup old lady one last time before she leaves the world today and talk sweetly to her, hoping somehow to convey how great of a companion she's been to me since the days of playing on monkey bars. It seems almost silly to try to thank her, because she's an animal of course, but I'd like to believe that somehow, in some other-worldly way, she was able to understand just how strong of a tie my heart has to hers. There will be a Holly sized spot in my heart for as long as I can imagine. 

I love you sweet girl.

my J-O-B

I was lucky enough to be offered my first step into a company I am so excited to work for! This week marks my second week working for Anthropologie. I just finished training and will be working my magic on the sales floor for a while, through holiday and all that jazz. While mastering the art of selling women beautiful merchandise, I will be able to get my feet wet in the Visual Display department, which is ultimately where I am aiming to spend most of my time and use my talents in one of the most beautiful retail environments I have seen. It feels like such a blessing that I was offered this job, considering Anthropologie was an early inspiration for my senior project in school a few years ago. 

I love the prospect of creating beautiful spaces in which people are in awe of their environment and it enhances the purpose of the space, rather than just being accommodating. This opportunity to work for a company that values such an experience is so exciting for me! I plan on posting photos of the displays I am working on as soon as I get a chance. Until then, I am going to embrace October and all the fun clothes I can buy with my employee discount ;) 

Some samples of Anthropologie displays for those of you unfamiliar with the store 

(I'm talking to you, dad):

My adventure to the mile high city

This is a long one, folks. And I apologize if it doesn't flow very well.. I wrote this posting in about 3 sittings (one of which I was watching a terrible show called Jail. Never watch it.)

After a super long brief hiatus, I am back to report some new happenings in my life. I believe when  left off with my last post, I was on day 3 of my 30 day challenge.. oops! Those who know me well know I get super pumped about awesome ideas but as soon I hit a roadblock or two, I get discouraged and just quit. Many years ago someone called me out on this character fault (in not the gentlest of manners) and I took it pretty hard. I didn't want to admit that when things get hard I tend to give up. Didn't want to face the fact that someone could see a flaw in me that, until then, I hadn't noticed in myself. Months later, afte the initial bitterness of the comment wore off, it drove me to push past initial obstacles, forks in the road, and minor failures and keep working hard toward larger successes. I transferred schools because I was unhappy where I began college, worked full time and saved up to buy myself a car, went back to school and endured a very critical and time-consuming program in Interior Design and then ran 2 half marathons! There are definitely many, many people who have accomplished greater, and far more awesome feats, but for me, those are great. They are enough to remind myself that, though my default is to give up when I hit an obstacle, that is the most crucial time to keep pushing myself. 

All of that to say, I am embarrassed that I only made it to day 3 of my 30 day challenge. Oh and to introduce some new happenings in my life.

Moving on.

For about the last year or so, I have had this strong pull to go explore on an adventure of sorts. I entertained the idea of moving to Chicago, have half-heartedly searched for interior design jobs in various cities around the US, and applied for Teach for America. Though my heart belongs in Spokane, WA, something was pushing me to get out for a while and see where I'd end up. It's a strange feeling to have an urge to leave home. I've tried explaining it to some of the people I am closest with, but if you've never felt the very tangible ache to try something else somewhere else, it's pretty impossible to describe. It's strange and it's unsettling to feel like what is so comfortable isn't quite the right spot anymore. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it or where to begin my first step but I knew that, at least very temporarily, I needed to take a risk. 

And so, while doing some damage on Craigslist, Indeed, Simply Hired, talking to dozens of people, making a few phone calls, and praying a whole lot, somewhere along the way Denver, CO rose above all other cities and felt "the most right". I don't have a solid answer for how I decided upon this particular city. I guess I simply just did. It has a lot of opportunity to further my career in design, it has an awesome outdoorsy lifestyle, it has a very appealing energy, and the neighborhood where I live feels very similar to my neighborhood in Spokane. Oh, and everyone and their mom has a dog. Heaven.

Spokane

Denver

Did I even move?

Seriously, I am telling you my neighborhood looks so similar to the PNW 

(Is Colorado considered part of the PNW? I don't even know. It should be.) 

So, once I decided to take the plunge, move, and see where the wind would take me down here for a while, my awesome friends and family threw me a going away party at my parent's house! It looked 

a little something like this: 

It was a great night filled with friends so dear to my heart and made me feel so loved! 

The following week I spent a ridiculously fun day at Silverwood theme park with this guy:

 (and lost my ID for the 2nd time in two weeks)

and one of the most fun nights out in Spokane with these kids:

As the move-date creeped up closer and closer I almost backed out of moving dozens of times because I was so afraid of leaving the people I love, not having a job, and being totally out of my comfort zone. There were many tearful breakdowns, a lot of tough goodbyes, and so much stress (thank you parents and Sean for knowing how to stop the tears). But once August 23rd and I finally met, I stuffed my little Honda Accord full of everything I own and my older brother, said goodbye to my family and beagle, and was off. 

18 hours of driving, too much Pandora comedy, lots of singing, a few bugs, learning about the family winery, and a Dominos pizza later, my brother Ryan and I made it to Denver. Whew. 

sneak peek of my very, very bare room:

I've been here for 4 weeks now and have a few stories up my sleeve, but I'll save those for another post on another day. In fact, this post was SUPPOSED to be about my new j-o-b but that'll have to wait until tomorrow since this turned into a novel! 

Stay tuned! it's a gem of a job :)

30 Day Challenge: Day 3

DAY 3

Today, this  room is speaking to my soul. I can imagine spending endless weekends under those crisp white sheets listening to the rain and enjoying some gummy bears (what? Don't judge me) and iced tea while reading a book.  This room reassures me of what I've always known: that neutrals are where it's at. I love how effortless this room looks-  "oh this ol' bookshelf? I just picked it up at a thrift store for $20 and I threw together these drawings in my grandpa's old sketchbook from WWII on my nature hike last weekend. Whatevs." The unfinished floor, the simple furniture, the blank, taupe walls, the down comforter that looks so cozy I am actually yawning right now- It's too perfect. Again, this room is speaking to my soul. And it is saying "create me someday and have a perfect life." And you know what? I gosh darn will... all that is missing is the golden retriever.

30 Day Challenge: Day 2

DAY 2

This kitchin dining area is so feminine and risky! Though it may not be realistic in a home where any male is living, a girl can dream! I love the bright colors and mad textures found in this space. The classic architecture and black, glossy floor really make way for the beautiful driftwood table base to really be the focus of this room. I'm not a huge fan of the print hanging on the wall (I'd rather see something much more basic, if anything at all) but I love that the bold patterns on the pillows and unique chandelier complement the driftwood's texture. I am drooling over this room!

30 Day Challenge: Day 1

Whatever design's equivalent to writer's block is... that is what I have been in for roughly the last 10 months or so. I've been dutifully working as an interior design intern at an architecture firm downtown in Spokane for a little over a year and, although I have learned many many useful skills and gotten my foot in the interior design industry, I haven't been able to use my creative mind as often as I wish. 

So over the course of the last month or so I have made it my goal to find artistic inspiration around me. Whether it has to do with architecture or nature, photos found on the internet, or fashion, or instagram, I just want to get back in touch with my artistic self. Spokane isn't exactly a mecca of innovative design, but my appreciation for this charming city has helped me to find little neighborhoods and downtown nooks that I have otherwise overlooked. With new eyes (literally, I got Lasik in February) I have found myself slowly creeping out of this black pit of ugliness, and am beginning to see beautiful creations once again! 

My new goal, coupled with this random blog that has no real focus, sparked an idea. Each day, for the next 30 days, I am going to post an image that I have found inspiring or beautiful with the hopes that come May, design will be flowing through my veins once again! 

To kick off day one, here are quite a few images 
that I've been compiling over the last month: 

DAY 1

I am really digging this green hue and am a huge sucker for all the textures found in nature. From the shimmery shells, the smooth pebbles, the asymmetrical pine branch, and the smooth leathery feel of leaves, I find that natural textures are at the base of 

every design I drool over

I adore the eclectic, home-y feel of these shelves. My favorite way to quickly organize is to make stacks of everything: papers, magazines, photos and books..so this look is very realistic to me. And these shelves offer so much personal style! Plus, the raw, unfinished planks are my fav.

The way the organic wing on the right side of this artwork is broken down and mathematically gridded out on the other half is very intriguing to me. It's also sort of creepy. Moving on..

Take risks with design! Usually, the designs that don't seem quite right, or are unexpected are the ones we remember and are inspired by

I love love love me some painting. Love to mix colors on the palette and get really messy with my canvases with layering and pulling paint across the fabric! This picture gets me excited for sunshine, paint, and lazy days by the pool!

As observed by my mom: 

"Kellianne, you're really into this native american pattern thing aren't you?"

I tried to deny it, meanwhile wearing a big turquoise ring, a tshirt with a totem pole print, and holding my iphone encased in this: 

Guilty as charged.

Something about the writing on this lampshade is so appealing to me. I love that it's handwritten and not perfect. And it makes me sort of nostalgic for a time when I daydreamed about having one of those lamps that twirled a design around the dark walls in my room at night

I love this style of print so much that my youngest brother actually bought this for 

me for Christmas. yippee!

I'm already feeling a bit more inspired!

A Valentines Day Worth Remembering

    


     Among other reasons, this valentines day has been a rough one so far for me. Despite having a long, crummy evening last night, I am reminded this morning of my grandpa's passing. Two years ago today, I was on a flight to Southern California to see my grandpa, my Nonno, in the hospital. A week or two prior, Nonno had taken an unexpected fall, and was brought to the hospital to get checked out and to heal. While there, his doctors picked up on some other health issues he was having. I don't remember all the specifics because it was all a blur to me at the time, but essentially his health and heart took a turn for the worse and he ended up falling into a coma. 
   So there I was, rushing out of design class and returning the missed call from my mom. It was friday and I still had a huge portion of my studio project to be working on, a parking ticket to pay, and a few other things to take care of before the Valentines day weekend ahead. My mom answered my call and hesitated before delivering the heavy news. When she told me that Nonno had gone into a coma, my surroundings froze and time stood still. There was a ringing in my ears. I remember feeling like I was going to throw up.  There was no way that Nonno was in a coma. Comas were serious news, and he was fine! He was my early-morning-crossword-completing, Italian chef, playful-teasing, "Porca Miseria"-exclaiming Nonno. He was totally fine and this call was nonsense. 
     Except it wasn't. That Sunday, I found myself not celebrating the day of love with a boyfriend, but rather in Southern California with immediate and extended family whom I loved and who had loved me for as long as I can remember. We were all gathered in the hospital patiently waiting for the Intensive Care Unit nurses to allow us to go in pairs to visit Nonno. The Winter olympics were playing on a little television in the waiting room,  while my aunts and uncles, parents and brothers, great aunts and great uncles, cousins and second cousins, and grandma all squished together in the tiny ICU waiting room. Pausing to take in this scenario made me re-think Valentines day a little. Rather than flowers, I had family. Rather than hope for a special night out, I had hope for a special life to hang on tight. Rather than a nice dinner, I ate at the hospital food court with my mom, cousin, and older brother. Rather than a teddy bear to hold, I held onto dozens of hugs from those I love the most. 
     It was during that five day (or so) visit that I saw and spoke to my Nonno for the last time. He miraculously woke up from his coma that visit and was able to recall everything about his fall and, though he was very thin and frail,  he spoke with hints of the same spunk he had always possessed. Nonno remained awake and conscious for about a month and a week before eventually passing on March 21st, 2010. 


    So rather than dwelling on the crummy start to my Valentines Day, I am hanging onto the memories of the most special Valentines Day I have had yet. They not only remind me of that season of life filled with so much love, but also remind me to stop and reflect on who and what I love today as well. 

A few of the Things I am thankful for and love 

on this Valentines Day

1. My big, talkative, boisterous, funny, loving family. And all the parents, brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins, and friends-that-we-call-family that individually add their own flavors to the mix.


2. My best girl friends. Whether I have known them for 15 years or for 2 years, from school or from jobs or from bible study, these girls are the most loyal, encouraging, loving girls I have ever known and I feel continually blessed to have them as friends.

3. My jobs. Though I don't jump for joy every day when I work, I am very thankful for the opportunities I have to grow in my knowledge, learn new skills, meet new people, and take risks.


4. My dog, Holly. Because duh, it's my dog. And somehow she is still kicking ( but mostly laying) after  fourteen and a half years. She must really like us.


5. My body. Though I am my own worst critic and would love to work out some kinks, I am so appreciative of the body God gave me. I can run, draw, paint, think, sing (poorly), reach, stand, and wiggle my toes without any pain or help.


6. My God. Because even though I fail at dozens of things every day, He loves me just the same and died so that He could wake me up every morning so I could give it another shot.