Among other reasons, this valentines day has been a rough one so far for me. Despite having a long, crummy evening last night, I am reminded this morning of my grandpa's passing. Two years ago today, I was on a flight to Southern California to see my grandpa, my Nonno, in the hospital. A week or two prior, Nonno had taken an unexpected fall, and was brought to the hospital to get checked out and to heal. While there, his doctors picked up on some other health issues he was having. I don't remember all the specifics because it was all a blur to me at the time, but essentially his health and heart took a turn for the worse and he ended up falling into a coma.
So there I was, rushing out of design class and returning the missed call from my mom. It was friday and I still had a huge portion of my studio project to be working on, a parking ticket to pay, and a few other things to take care of before the Valentines day weekend ahead. My mom answered my call and hesitated before delivering the heavy news. When she told me that Nonno had gone into a coma, my surroundings froze and time stood still. There was a ringing in my ears. I remember feeling like I was going to throw up. There was no way that Nonno was in a coma. Comas were serious news, and he was fine! He was my early-morning-crossword-completing, Italian chef, playful-teasing, "Porca Miseria"-exclaiming Nonno. He was totally fine and this call was nonsense.
Except it wasn't. That Sunday, I found myself not celebrating the day of love with a boyfriend, but rather in Southern California with immediate and extended family whom I loved and who had loved me for as long as I can remember. We were all gathered in the hospital patiently waiting for the Intensive Care Unit nurses to allow us to go in pairs to visit Nonno. The Winter olympics were playing on a little television in the waiting room, while my aunts and uncles, parents and brothers, great aunts and great uncles, cousins and second cousins, and grandma all squished together in the tiny ICU waiting room. Pausing to take in this scenario made me re-think Valentines day a little. Rather than flowers, I had family. Rather than hope for a special night out, I had hope for a special life to hang on tight. Rather than a nice dinner, I ate at the hospital food court with my mom, cousin, and older brother. Rather than a teddy bear to hold, I held onto dozens of hugs from those I love the most.
It was during that five day (or so) visit that I saw and spoke to my Nonno for the last time. He miraculously woke up from his coma that visit and was able to recall everything about his fall and, though he was very thin and frail, he spoke with hints of the same spunk he had always possessed. Nonno remained awake and conscious for about a month and a week before eventually passing on March 21st, 2010.
So rather than dwelling on the crummy start to my Valentines Day, I am hanging onto the memories of the most special Valentines Day I have had yet. They not only remind me of that season of life filled with so much love, but also remind me to stop and reflect on who and what I love today as well.
A few of the Things I am thankful for and love
on this Valentines Day
1. My big, talkative, boisterous, funny, loving family. And all the parents, brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins, and friends-that-we-call-family that individually add their own flavors to the mix.2. My best girl friends. Whether I have known them for 15 years or for 2 years, from school or from jobs or from bible study, these girls are the most loyal, encouraging, loving girls I have ever known and I feel continually blessed to have them as friends.
3. My jobs. Though I don't jump for joy every day when I work, I am very thankful for the opportunities I have to grow in my knowledge, learn new skills, meet new people, and take risks.
4. My dog, Holly. Because duh, it's my dog. And somehow she is still kicking ( but mostly laying) after fourteen and a half years. She must really like us.
5. My body. Though I am my own worst critic and would love to work out some kinks, I am so appreciative of the body God gave me. I can run, draw, paint, think, sing (poorly), reach, stand, and wiggle my toes without any pain or help.
6. My God. Because even though I fail at dozens of things every day, He loves me just the same and died so that He could wake me up every morning so I could give it another shot.
